I walked in during the reading, one of my favorites, from 1 Corinthians 13. You know the one ... read at weddings a lot ... the one that ends with "and the greatest of these is LOVE." It seemed especially prayerful, especially holy tonight and I felt buoyed by all who were there. Like every one of these persons knew intimately, or were striving to know and practice the unconditional agape love Paul is writing about. A safe place where all were accepted.
We ended with three chants and during the second one is when it happened.
"In the Lord I'll be ever thankful, in the Lord I will rejoice!It was probably the fourth or fifth time, I don't know I wasn't counting, that I realized which words I was just saying and which words I meant. I got to "do not be afraid" and the dam burst. Tears started streaming down my face. In that moment I realized how much I was embodying the opposite. Acknowledging the fear, I couldn't hold it anymore and it flooded the plains and found its way into the valleys and river deltas. Releasing the fear, I was able to be at peace.
Look to God, do not be afraid.
Life up your voices, the Lord is near ..."