Sunday, July 24, 2011

threshold of generosity and gratitude

24 hours ago I was sweaty with dread and doubt.  Okay, the sweaty was more a circumstance of weather and my insistence in not turning on the A/C.  The dread and doubt were real though.  What if no one supports this work?  What if my threshold for doing this work has been maxed?  How foolish will I look?  Will I ever be able to lift my head high again?
Four hours later, back from the evening's activities I check email and am overwhelmed.  A few friends decided to be contributors.  Generous contributors.  More generous than I would ask.  And I am grateful.  So very grateful.  We passed the halfway mark easily and reached the three-quarters mark.  How would we reach the threshold of my goal? 

In less than 24 hours, you, my beloved supporters of Grace Notes, have demonstrated true generosity.  And even went a little beyond the threshold I set.  And a different little voice inside me says, Why did you doubt? 

Perhaps you were following this little Zen heart sutra:  Gate Gate, Para Gate, Para Sam Gate, Bohdi Svaha.  (Translation:  Go beyond, Go beyond beyond, Go beyond beyond towards enlightenment) 

Why is it I (or do you hear a little of yourself in this too) lower the expectations of myself, friends, family, co-workers, everyone, etc. to stave off disappointment?  Shouldn't we be holding each other up, reminding each other of our best selves? 

So to that end of reminding you and me of our best selves, I am extending the Razoo goal back out to the original budget amount of $6,360 (yep, I lowered it to my bare, bare minimum to ease the disappointment -- the difference seems so insignificant now!) and invite you to be generous with the gifts you have to offer, beit writing prayers of support, in-kind offerings or financial gifts.  The threshold is less than $75 away...

What will my gratitude feel like when your generosity have matched that threshold and gone beyond?  Stay tuned. 

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